somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
