Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
