p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
