So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
