Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
