farters have to be the big spoon...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
