Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
