i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
