Quick, to the slutcave!
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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