Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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