I hate your face
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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