just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
