that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
