Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
