i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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