piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
