i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
