just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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