and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
