Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
