it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
