is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
