I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He felt like a one man threesome
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
