Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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