I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
