You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
