my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
