she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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