Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
