the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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