I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
