just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
