Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
