Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
