Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
