nut hugger
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
