he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
my liver is dry heaving
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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