some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
