We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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