Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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