i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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