I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
