This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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