I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
this will be a night to untag.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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