i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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