I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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