He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
