She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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