Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
