you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
