there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
