He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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